Saturday, July 22, 2006

Some Odds and Ends

Blogs are opening here now by the normal route. Phew!!

Today I want to record certain things that have been coming to my consciousness and lingering there in the form of questions, observations made, reflections etc. I am not even trying to slot them, hope it does not sound too odd. And what if it does..... I am going to number them -

1) It is nice to re-connect with people we haven’t had any interactions with over a period of time. I am led to believe that these re-connections happen ONLY when the two persons concerned are ready – when they are convinced that a re-connection would be a progression over their last meeting. Re-connections always somehow happen when both persons are in a state to drop any unpleasantness associated with their past association, and at a stage when the fond memories created together are consolidated and most importantly acknowledged.

2) However, it is not possible to re-connect with everyone we have parted ways with at sometime in the past. We may have parted in bitterness with some people in our lives and over time we may forgive them too, BUT may not like to re-connect with them. In such a situation I wonder how would they ever know that you have forgiven them? Question.

3) I reiterate, re-connections cannot happen with everyone you have parted ways with.

4) Have you ever noticed how if you respond only to the positive characteristics in a person, their negative traits (and we all have them) stop to surface?! Have you ever noticed how people you encourage and appreciate are always happy to meet you..... Have you ever noticed how we too look forward to meeting people who appreciate and encourage us.....

5) I watched a film lately that immersed me after a long time. It is called “Before Sunrise”. It is made in two parts but I think it should have ended at Part I. I do not want to see Part II. I am in love with the idea of timelessness that is portrayed in the film. Two people make an instant connection. They have just a few hours to themselves. They make the best of it. It is time to part. They are heavy hearted to let each other go but they decide to not exchange their whereabouts. BUT they decide to..... well that is the suspense. They should have ended at Part I.

6) I also saw the film Dosar (translated The Companion), directed by Rituporno Ghosh with Konkona SenSharma in the lead. She was there at the screening too. Looking very cute. The film is well made. Lots of humor in the seemingly serious topic of the film: extra-marital relationships. I have not been able to, if I may say holistically understand this. Something tells me there is more to this hyped subject. Ok. One day the spouse meets with an accident in which the woman he is involved with - outside his marriage dies and he suffers serious injuries. This becomes public and his lawfully wedded wife grapples with feelings of hurt, dejection, self-pity, at the same time feelings of rejection for her husband. The film did not convince me (tho it is well-made). If not for the humor and Konkona and direction, it wouldn’t have been watch-able.

7) Have you noticed that the more you give, the more you get back. I mean everything – knowledge, know-how, something material, love. Also have you noticed how the more you give them away, the more you know about those things.

8) Have you realized how you carry a part of each person you meet in your lifetime. “We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” (Tim Mc Graw). I have been using colored pens to write since the past three years, I picked up the habit from a friend of that time, I am no longer in touch but each time I hold one of my pink/green/orange/violet pens to write I am reminded of that person. Except that these days you don’t have much to do with pens, your fingers do it for you, on the keyboard.

Have you realized what a heart-to-heart talk in which you are in a position to share your deepest thoughts of that time with the other can do to you..... I have just done it..... on my blog.


Black's said...

The Beatles said, "In the end, the love we take is equal to the love we make".

Meera said...

Hi. I love heart to heart conversation so this post was amazing to read.Its difficut to re connect with people who you have parted in bitterness. But you know even though you cant talk with them like old times I think something like "forgiveness" have its own way coming out.
And everybody we meet leaves an impression on us. Thats the beauty of meeting with people. :) Ok and as for noticing people positve's aspect I always struggle through it. But I am improving I think....

jhantu said...

hmm it is debatable whether you get back more love if you give more love.. the operative phrase might have to be to the right person(s)

ambrosia said...

To Black: Thank you for the beautiful quote.

To Meera: That is a wonderful way of putting it, perhaps that you have been forgiven comes as a feeling, there is nothing tangible about it.

To Jhantu: At one level you are on the dot right. It is a prevalent viewpoint. At another level, if we were to seperate love from any operative phrases and treat it as something that we can offer unconditionally to all things living and non-living - in that case we open out our hearts to the infinite possibilities of receiving love from the Universe. It is this love that can make us forever walk with a spring in our toes and perhaps make us feel that "unhappiness" is an illusion as the spiritualists say... Thank you for your visit to my blog.

Vj said...

Iam glad you have had a nice time lately.

I reconnected to one of my old friends after 7 years , a lot has changed since then .

I realized that we have metamorphosed into responsible ambitious guys now from those gawky teenager days and I could sense that he's was trying hard to contain his excitement at this sudden phone and so was I.

I guess , 7 years back , we would have sweared at each other and jumped at the prospect of meeting some long lost friend.

you evolve with time, I guess .but I guess it is great feeling to meet somebody, you spent some moments of your life with


A very cool cat said...

Nice post, Ambrosia. Made for really good reading - and got me thinking too! You know, I agree with you about focusing on a person's positive attributes and thereby relagating the negative to the background - but what happens when the negative is so apparent, so in your face, that you have no choice but to focus on it? And what happens when you are confronted with someone you had been very fond of but who, through her/his behaviour brings to your attention faults you never knew they had, and threatens to ruin everything?

Sorry for bringing up yet more questions - but the problem with life is, so much of it is lived in grey areas, isn't it?

Queen B said...

How lovely to read your blog! It gave me an opportunity to 'reconnect' with you! This is Manjima here (and I have recently started a blog too - to document Tara's early years -!

I just wanted to say that there are different levels of reconnecting and the universe cooperates with you in strange ways... Just a few days back I read an article on the Israel Palestine conflict online and I discovered it was written by a former classmate... Now some background to this: we were in the same school/class in Kuwait and with the Gulf War suddenly our lives were disrupted and we all were displaced and sent scattering to different parts of the world. Never to return, or at least to return to that life or that community. And suddenly after 16 years here I came across a fantastic political analysis of the middle east crisis by someone who used to be the class clown! I tentatively emailed him, wondering if he would remember me (16 years is a long time, and I know there are parts of that phase of life that I subconsciously have just blocked out)...and he did! Very well too. A reply sat at my inbox the next morning. It was amazing to discover the journey he has undertaken over the years - he is Palestinian American and along with an Israeli feminist has started a magazine called 'Between the Lines'documenting life from the West Bank. He spent the last 7 years writing from West Bank making the everyday conflict visible... For a privileged American boy this is commendable - especially to choose to go back to a war zone and live there...
I am glad I acted on my impulse to reconnect. Another relationship (albeit not deep) from which i can learn is activated in my life.

Life's experiences also propel you to reconnect. In the last few months I have reconnected with some old friends in a different way because of our shared experiences of new found motherhood - speaking things about the experience that are well kept secrets or better not uttered! Things I could not share with friends who are single, or who have forgotten...

Look forward to reading more lovely thoughts!

ambrosia said...

To VJ: Thank you for sharing, many a times it so happens that we are unable to be demonstrative, but then, as you know, the heart has its own ways of communicating and getting the communication across :-)

To A Very Cool Cat: Nice to hear from you! :-) Yes, that is an extremely important point there and I have grappled with it. I think how we deal with the negative also depends upon the stage in the evolution process (of our minds) that we are at. For example, I find that that given the same set of negatives we would perhaps not react to them in the same manner that we did on an earlier occasion. At a certain point they do lose focus (and therefore the importance we attact to them) and relagate to the periphery. Of course there is no formula but these emotional experiences are so common in our lifetimes that I guess each one of us develop our own understanding and therefore a strategy to deal with them.

I also feel that life has its own ways of giving us opportunities to help us develop ways to deal with situations and emotions. We learn so much from relationships and I find that it is not necessary that it may be the same relationship that we must learn from, many a times, totally different sets of people come into our lives and present to us the same challenges that we once grappled with, thus giving us an opportunity to put our learnings to test.

Well, this is such a subjective matter, as I said, no formula.

To Queen B: Hi!! This is so unexpected and at the same time such a pleasant surprise!! Thank you for the visit, the encouraging words and for sharing about your wonderful re-connections. You are so right, the Universe does cooperate with us and I think the "impulse" that you have mentioned is our intuition! Let me add, the Universe is always communicating with us, I find that if we listen we can hear it! I have just been to Taraville - beautiful! Cheers to the re-connection!